


if you could see me now

by royalvoeu



Category: VICTON (Band)
Genre: I'm Sorry, M/M, a soulmate au that is not so soulmate au, it's pain, well it's pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:47:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27710240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/royalvoeu/pseuds/royalvoeu
Summary: Seungwoo could fall in love just once in his life.
Relationships: Han Seungwoo/Kang Seungsik
Comments: 2
Kudos: 33





	if you could see me now

“Why don’t you just, let me,”

There was a subtle smile on Seungsik’s lips as he threw a glance at Seungwoo who was in the middle of giving his newly arrived air fryer a second (or maybe fifty fourth) look. Empty box and rolls and rolls of bubble wraps were all over the dining table now, the owner of the house busy scrutinizing a small booklet with the word MANUAL BOOK printed boldly on its front.

“You’re just going to make fun of me,” Seungwoo raised an eyebrow.

“You’re not wrong,” There came Seungsik’s easy chuckle as he gently snatched the book from the older’s hand. Seungwoo was a man capable of a lot of things, but Seungsik knew better than anyone else that he could not, for God’s sake, read a manual book properly. Especially when it was written in English.

“I can do it!” Seungwoo responded, his voice impatient and dripping in annoyance.

“Sure you can,” Seungsik sing-songed, clearly unaffected by Seungwoo’s obvious sulky tone. “We need to remove all the labels first… Then clean the basket and the pan with hot water. Then clean it with dishwasher soap too. Did you get it when I told you to do your groceries?”

“Sikie,”

“I know, you’re not a kid. I don’t have to tell you all these. But did you get it?”

Seungsik expected another burst of whines and sour gaze directed at him, a Seungwoo’s habit he had found himself quite fond of every time he managed to tease the older. Instead, he got a short “Yeah.” and a light pinch on his left cheek, from Seungwoo whose eyes had disappeared from his usual Snoopy-like smile.

Seungsik grinned easily at that. “Great. Now let’s clean this new fancy thing of yours and make something for lunch afterwards.”

“Dumplings?”

“You want dumplings? I have checked your fridge—don’t give me that look—and I know you have cooked all the premade ones. Didn’t you buy more?”

“Well,” Seungwoo said with a shake of his head, “Do you think we can make them from scratch?”

Seungsik’s eyes narrowed. “Like right now?”

“Like right now.”

The younger wanted to protest that today wasn’t supposed to be a busy _cooking_ day for him—he was there just to have a short little celebration with Seungwoo, plus he just knew he’d be the one doing most of the jobs, and why _today,_ out of all days?—but Seungwoo spared him no chance to decline as he had planted himself in front of the kitchen’s counter before Seungsik realized, grabbing the ingredients for dumplings that he seemed to crave badly.

And Seungsik being Seungsik, instead of saying they should really get premade ones from the nearest supermarket—to prevent Seungwoo from abandoning his dumplings-from-scratch project because it would take too long—only sighed and walked nearer, stopping Seungwoo from choosing the wrong flour.

Today was just like another day in the life of Seungwoo and Seungsik.

( _Or maybe not._ )

*

This story started a solid ten years ago.

It was the exact first time they met, Seungwoo was sixteen and Seungsik was fifteen, in the classic set up of him being the new neighbour next door that came to live with his grandma because his parents were away abroad.

He was (and still) a beautiful boy, chiselled features and perfect posture with a smile that could rival the sun. He was nice, with a heart made of pure gold, perhaps, and as cliché as this might sound, Seungwoo found himself getting attracted.

It wasn’t like he did mind. Seungsik was made to be liked easily. It was close to impossible not to be fond of him.

Then everything came easily: from being neighbours who got invited to each others’ houses during special dinners to being schoolmates who walked to school together. From being friends who had to hang out on the 24/7 minimarket because both of them (not so) surprisingly lost their house keys to being best friends who shared the same spot in the speed dial list on their phones, an unannounced ultimatum that they would always be each other’s number nth supporter (The earlier spots were of course, for their families.).

Seungwoo was content (and a little bit more on the proud side) with having Seungsik by his side, almost half of his life time.

But he would be lying if there weren’t times when he felt the attraction was no longer just an attraction, the admiration was no longer just an admiration, and perhaps there were more to it than just a little longing feeling that left Seungwoo lost within his train of thoughts every time Seungsik came to him with a name entirely new as the reason behind his radiant smile.

There were endless amount of what ifs and when wills on his mind ever since then, and in Seungwoo’s analogy, being forced to be happy for someone so dear to him when he couldn’t was almost akin to getting his heart ripped then sewed back just for him to continue functioning even when he didn’t want to, because he knew, _he found out long time ago, that he could only fall in love once._

It was a part of what the celestial beings had destined for him.

It could be twice and thrice for Seungsik. But it could be only once for him.

And he had decided _with whom,_ long time ago.

It hasn’t changed, probably could not be changed, even when he knew saying it was impossible was too much of an understatement.

*

“You’re zoning out,” Seungsik’s voice was filled with what seemed like half-annoyance and half-worry, and Seungwoo quickly made an attempt to stab his remaining dumpling before shoving it to his mouth, shaking his head with another Snoopy-like smile to ensure the younger that he knew what he was doing.

“My grandma is going to be sad knowing you eat your dumplings like that.”

“I’ll make sure not to do that in front of her.”

Seungsik rolled his eyes at that, but a smile finally regained a place back on his visage.

It was late in the afternoon. There were only muted sounds of whatever song Seungsik had put on Seungwoo’s Bluetooth speaker and the occasional clink clank of their busy chopsticks and spoons, eating their hard-earned lunch of dumplings and spicy _kalguksu_.

“Do you not have anything to do today?”

Seungwoo looked up just to lift his spoon, gesturing at Seungsik who had been on the kitchen counter for a while having finished his lunch earlier, cleaning after the remaining flour and fillings mess they made from almost three hours ago. “I’m eating?”

“That’s not it.” Seungsik hummed, disposing the kitchen towel quickly. “After this, or maybe later tonight?”

“I don’t.” The older replied easily, putting his spoon and chopsticks down, finally finished.

“What, do you want to stay over and make more dumplings for dinner? A day before the big day?”

A chuckle escaped Seungsik’s lips. “I think I’ll take a break from making or eating dumplings for a while…” 

“Even when he asked you to?”

Seungsik shot him a playful glare, shaking his head. “I’ll make sure to have premade dumplings ready on our fridge by then.”

“Good idea.” Seungwoo smiled, gaze lingering a little bit too long at the younger, immersed in how Seungsik naturally fixed his piled dishes and put everything back in the right order without saying anything.

“I’m going to miss you.”

Seungsik stopped abruptly at that, looking up from the glassware he was going to put away. “Don’t be silly. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll just be two blocks down away, and one notification away as per usual.”

“It’s not going to be the same, though.”

“Of course it is. It’s going to be weird if things are staying the same.”

“Yeah. He’s not going to be so happy about it.” Seungwoo chuckled again, but there was a tug in his chest that made him feel like he was close to dying.

“You’ll still see me often. Don’t get all sappy on me. I don’t want my eyes to look like macarons tomorrow,” Seungsik said in a soft tone, this time punching Seungwoo’s arm lightly.

“Sejun would still find you gorgeous.”

“As he should. I didn’t say yes to his proposal only for him to ditch me when I no longer look as beautiful,”

The groom-to-be smiled even wider, a tint of crimson red adorning the high of his cheeks and the tips of his ears and in that exact moment Seungwoo couldn’t help but to wonder if this stabbing pain in his chest would go away someday.

**Author's Note:**

> this is a word vomit... i got bored and stressed in the middle of working on my last paper so i made this. i'm sorry if it feels all over the place... i might get back and change a few things but i hope this will do the magic for now. i hope you enjoy the ride ♡


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